I know. I’m not special. Many others have felt similarly at some point in their lives. For me, though, it’s a bit more recent. If you had asked me five years ago whether I was happy being alive during that period, my answer would have likely been “100%!” Now, I’m not so sure. A part of me (more than half, if I’m honest) wishes I was born years ago. Perhaps a time before my parents were born. (I think my mother will be super surprised when she’s done reading this post.)
I was talking to a friend on the phone (are phone calls even a thing anymore?), and I don’t quite remember the context, but we both said, “I think I was born in the wrong era.” And I genuinely believe that. To be clear, I don’t dislike the current world. I just think I would have enjoyed being alive a whole lot more about fifty years ago. When times seemed simpler. Was it simpler, though, I wonder?
I think about how addicted we are to our phones and social media today. Scrolling endlessly even when in the company of people. Sharing the most random details of our lives for the world to see. What did people in the ‘60s and ‘70s do? Did they also talk and share endlessly but not really communicate?
I think about how divided our world is today. White people and People of Colour. Men and women. Rich and poor. But then I think, are we as divided as it seems? Take the Freedom Convoy, for example. If you read the news, you’d think half of Canada is on the side of those people going around and saying, “BuT mUh FrEeDoM.” However, stats paint a completely different picture. About 90% of eligible Canadians have gotten at least one vaccine dose. And about 93% are opposed to the convoy (don’t ask me for sources, I read this somewhere). So, except for a few bad apples, we are not really divided, are we?
This made me question, why does everything seem so hopeless? Is it because we have access to information from all around the world more than ever before? Shitty things have been happening everywhere forever, but we just wouldn’t know about all of it. Now we do. Is that why this period seems like one of the worst in history? I just realized I went on a tangent there. Going back to the main topic.
Take even something as simple as dating/relationships. Yes, fifty years ago, the chances of actually meeting someone who’s your soulmate was, well, minimal. I’m not saying that people didn’t find love, but was it the absolute best they could find? Who could say? Compared to now, the options were super limited because you couldn’t even find someone from another city, let alone a different country. So, in many cases, people probably “settled.” But, despite all that, I’d take the reality of the past to what it is now. There is just too much choice in today’s world, which means people are taking potential partners less seriously now.
I recently read a book called Modern Romance by Aziz Ansari. The book talks about how different dating is compared to the past and how it may not be as great as it seems on paper. I’m not into dating apps, and this book only made online dating worse. I might have thought, “goddamn, I don’t think I’ll ever find anyone.” I’d like to believe it’s nothing more than an overreaction, but who the fuck knows?
Let’s say you had a good thing going with someone. But, for some reason, the other person wanted to end things. Would it be okay if they did it over a text? Personally, I would be livid. It doesn’t matter how shitty you feel, or how difficult it is, the least you can do is tell them to their face. Or at least over a phone call. At least for closure. Also, the other person won’t feel as insignificant. But how many of us have gotten that dreaded text? I’m sure the number is way higher than it probably should be. Now, obviously, a text is okay if you have only been on one date. Maybe it didn’t work out, and that’s fine. I’m starting to wonder how different dating was back then. Would people just ghost if things didn’t work out?
I think I’m an old soul. Or maybe just an old person stuck in a young person’s body. I don’t know. When I visited Banff last year, I met someone I liked. Asked her to go out with me if things didn’t work out with the guy she was seeing at the time, and she said yes. Before I left the hostel room we shared, I wrote her a short letter about how thankful I was that we met. Who even does that these days? So, yeah. Someone old stuck in a young man’s body.
Everything seems so fast-paced now. Like there’s no time to breathe. You go to school when you’re 4-5. Next thing you know, you’re 17 trying to get into college. Then, you look for a job. Before you know it, you have a family, and you’re struggling to make ends meet. Wasn’t life simpler before? I’m not saying people didn’t have to study or work to survive, but at least they didn’t have to live in constant fear of becoming homeless. I mean, at my age, most people were probably married and could afford a house if they didn’t already have one. I feel like I should mention that being married is not a measure of success by any means.
I’ve also noticed that we as a species are just not good at communication. We may be able to talk for hours, but do we communicate? I don’t think so. This isn’t necessarily a now thing, though. I think humans have always had problems with it. Not being able to express how they feel. Or being able to have an open conversation about something that bothers them. I don’t think this is new.
But what I do find interesting is that all these tools that exist to make us “more connected” or “communicate better” are the ones that are pushing us away from each other. Do you think that’s a fair assessment? Take the metaverse, for instance. I genuinely believe that if it takes off (and I have extremely negative thoughts about it), it’ll drive us further away. And that’s not a particularly enticing reality to me.
With all this said, I’m absolutely not willing to trade the music from this era. That is one thing fifty years ago couldn’t beat. I discover a new artist once every month on average, and they’re all SO GOOD. UGH. I’m genuinely thankful for the music right now. There’s something for everyone, and that’s what makes it so good.
So, yeah. That’s basically how I feel about existing during these strange times. Of course, you could say that, just like now, there would have been challenges fifty years or even a hundred years ago. And I would 100% agree with that. But, despite that, I think the uncertainty of the past would have been easier to deal with.
I know. I could be wrong. Maybe being alive in the past would have been a bigger challenge for me. Who knows? After all, I’m just an old soul. Or an old person in a young man’s body, I guess.